My sister is like my mother.Whenever I have problem she helps me like a rescuer .She listens my problems.She tries to act me patiently.She is my second mother .
My sister is both a good and beautiful perso.She has nice brown smooth hair.Her eyebrown is like arc.She is medium weight and medium height. She always wears according to the fashion.She doesnt like wearing unfashion.As she wears so, I try to wear like her .Many times she takes clothes or other things for me .Every time I like items that she buys for me.She has a natural unegualled beauty.I think she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.She isnt aggresssive , in contrast she is peaceful serenity of the smoooth and patien .She becomes child with child and becomes adult with adult.She isnt easily angry with me or anybody.She has ability to persuade somebody.She talks fluently and sensible.She has an important place among her friends.Her friends always take her idea about their problems.
My sister not only a beautiful woman but also a good and thoughtful woman.I consult her whenever ı have problem .She is my icon
your essay is good but i think you should use more descriptive word and also you should more carefull about the errors,but i like it :)
YanıtlaSilDear Sema,
YanıtlaSilAn interesting description of your sister but this essay can be improved if you consider some weak points contained in the essaya. See the parantheses for some of these weak points. You should also improve the content with more detailed description.
You wrote:
"My sister is like my mother.Whenever I have problem she helps me like a rescuer .She listens(to) my problems.She tries to act(??) me patiently.She is my second mother .
My sister is both a good and beautiful perso(n).She has nice brown smooth hair.Her eyebrown is like arc.She is (of) medium weight and medium height. She always wears according to the fashion.She doesnt like wearing unfashion(??).As she wears so, I try to wear like her .Many times she takes clothes or other things for me .Every time I like items ??(weak sentence)that she buys for me.She has a natural unegualled beauty.I think she is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen.She isnt aggresssive ,(;) in contrast she is(???) peaceful serenity of the smoooth and patien .She becomes child with child and becomes adult with adult.She isnt?? easily angry with me or anybody.She has ability to persuade somebody.She talks fluently and sensible.She has an important place among her friends.Her friends always take her idea about their problems.
My sister (is)not only a beautiful woman but also a good and thoughtful woman.I consult her whenever ı have problem .She is my icon
Hi honey,
YanıtlaSilYour essay is good but you can improve it.I think, you can write some more details and descriptions about your sister.And there are some mistakes.You should be careful :)